I Need More Money… But How Do I Actually Get It?

If you’ve ever laid awake at night wondering how you’re going to provide for yourself or your family…
 this episode is for you.

Today, we’re talking about money from a completely different perspective. Not hustle culture. Not ‘just work harder.’ Not shame.

We’re talking about how our money stories are often our self-love stories, and how the way we experience love is usually the way we experience money too.

If love has felt inconsistent…
 money probably has too.

If love has felt unsafe…
 money probably feels unsafe too.

In this episode, I’m also sharing why running a home is already a form of entrepreneurship, especially for women who have been carrying the emotional, mental, and financial weight of survival for years.

And most importantly, I’m giving you 5 real ways to begin creating income with or without a degree — because your life experience, resilience, wisdom, and ability to solve problems already have value.

This episode is for the woman who feels scared financially…
 but knows deep down she was made for more than survival.”

And don't forget, if you want personal help with this...

book the free coaching call by clicking on the link below!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey my loves, welcome back to another episode of the other side of the struggle. Okay, let me kind of dive into today's episode for just a few minutes and let me explain why we're talking more about money. First and foremost, let me just say that one of my most all-time listened to episodes on this podcast is Women Need Their Own Money. It is by far the most listened to episode. And that told me something. That told me that this is a conversation that we need to be having more of, not just about healing trauma, not just about boundaries, but also like how do I get in and create money? Because in truth, we want to have some type of stability. And when we think about stability, we're thinking about money. This is why we're gonna be incorporating more of this discussion in this podcast. Now, yes, I do have Bold Hearts Big Moves. That's another podcast, right? And I absolutely want to invite you and encourage you even to go over and you know listen to that podcast too. It's got some great, great content. But let me just say, like, it's it is kind of for two different audiences. Like my bold heart's big moves podcast is for the entrepreneur, right? Who is ready to get you know, stuck trauma out of her system so that way she can, you know, smash her glass ceiling and go to the next level. But for some of you that are listening to this podcast, some of you are entrepreneurs. Actually, I dare say all of you are, and we're gonna explain how in just a few minutes. Okay. You might not be making money, but I guarantee if you're listening to this podcast, you are an entrepreneur. But there's still a gap between where you're at and where, you know, there's you know, money moving kind of kind of thing. Some of you are right at that very beginning stage of of starting to actually bring money in. And so I want to talk to that. And I feel like this is going to be a really good podcast for you guys, no matter where you're at in the money-making scenario. So let's go ahead and dive in. So, first and foremost, let me ask you a question. Have you ever sat in your car after you've gone grocery shopping and you're looking at the total on the receipt and you're sitting there feeling kind of sick, kind of ill, and you're really trying not to cry. You're wondering how you're gonna stretch what's left in the bank account because you've got all of these bills coming in, right? And maybe you're even laying awake at night thinking, what would happen to me if I have to do this on my own? And to be fair, okay, that's not an unfair question for a lot of you, okay? Because when you're giving more to a relationship than somebody is giving, you're feeling a very big inconsistency, you're feeling that that that chasm between the two of you. And relationships don't survive chasms. We know this. And so you might be sitting here thinking, like, I might have to do this on my own. So how? I can't depend on him. What if things don't change? What if I never make enough money to feel safe? I don't have a college education. What if, what if, what if, what if, what if I have to be on my own? And that is quite possibly the most terrifying thing you're facing right now. Not even the addiction that your husband might have, but or even the betrayal you're feeling in other relationships, but like the like doing things on your own. That's that's terrifying. It is. And maybe even part of you feels guilty thinking about money because you've spent so much time trying to survive emotionally that like money isn't isn't the clear concept for you. You're you're trying to keep the peace, you're trying to hold the family together, you're trying to protect the kids, trying to love someone through addiction, chaos, betrayal, anger, inconsistency, emotional absence. And maybe inside of all of that, you might have believed that your needs don't matter. Maybe you've stopped believing that you that what you need and want matters too. So I do want to talk today about money, not from like a girl boss hustle hoarder type of perspective. And to be fair, I don't like that perspective anyway. I don't believe in being a girl boss hustle hoarder. I believe that there are times when we we sometimes do stack on a lot onto our plate, but if we don't let people know that support is not an option, that tends to be too much. It will be too much, okay? But I do want to talk about money from the perspective of a woman who's from the perspective of a woman who has been carrying too much for too long, who might be very scared, exhausted, and not know how capable she really is. Because the truth is when you are carrying a lot, you are wondering about your capabilities. You know, I think about I don't know if you guys are familiar with the Lindsay Lohan version of the parent trap, right? Dennis Quaid is in that, and he's one of my favorite actors. But anyway, in there where they fill Meredith's bag full of rocks, and she's supposed to be in this really great physical shape, right? I know that I feel like sometimes I've climbed mountains with rocks in my backpack, and I can tell you I'm wondering about my capabilities, right? And a lot of it is because we're too busy filling the weight, but we don't realize truly how powerful we are. We don't realize that we can get rid of the rocks, and sometimes we don't even realize the rocks are there, like Meredith. Not saying you guys are Meredith, you were way nicer than that. This I know, but like just the mental image keeps coming back to me. But here's what I really, really want to draw into you today is that money stories are the exact same stories as our self-love stories. Our money stories are our self-love stories, they are one and the same. And how you are experiencing love is probably how you're experiencing money right now. And the reason why is because our belief about love directly influences our money story. Every dollar we have ever gained or even given away is gained from a relationship and given to some type of relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to know Jeff Bezos personally to buy from his company. You still know that the company exists, you trust that the company is going to deliver what it says it's going to deliver, and you're you like that you have the the convenience and the capability to order like that, right? So there's some level of no like and trust in that type of transitional relationship for money to come in and for money to leave, there has to be a no like and trust concept. But if your nervous system is overwhelmed and you're sitting there saying, I'm not enough or I'm not capable, it's showing up in your money story. It absolutely is. And if you think about it, how you feel about your relationships is probably how you feel about your money right now. I have yet to see someone who feels incredible about their relationships and crappy about their money. It's they're one and the same, they're absolutely one and the same. So if love has felt inconsistent, like I said, money probably feels inconsistent too. If love has felt unsafe, money probably has felt unsafe too, and probably still feels unsafe. If you've had to overperform for love, you probably have to overwork for money. If you've had to prove your value to receive affection, you're probably feeling like you consistently have to prove your worth to deserve abundance. And if you feel like love has been controlling, money may feel controlling too. You if you felt guilty for having needs in relationships, you probably feel guilty for spending money on yourself. And if you feel emotionally abandoned, you may also feel unsupported financially. See, here's the thing: the language is often identical because both love and money touch the same wounds: worthiness, safety, trust, receiving, visibility, value. And when this is why, you know, when healing your relationship with yourself, that's why your money story tends to change too. I've seen it time and time and time again, where I've had clients that have invested like thousands of dollars with me, and they come out the other side with double or triple what they invested without me ever talking to them about money. It's actually a fairly consistent concept that I keep seeing, right? I I had one client who invested like $7,500 with me, and by the time we were done coaching, she had made roughly around $28,000. And I never once talked to her about making money or creating money or money at all, balancing it, nothing. It was all about self-love and supporting yourself. Like, there's something here, there's a reason why so many of my clients are doubling and tripling their investment without me ever talking to them about money. Like, why is it? And it really comes down to this that when you heal your relationship with yourself, the way that you interact with money changes. It naturally does because once you start seeing your value and believing in your value, money attracts to you because money is a type of value. And the more you believe, I matter, my needs matter, my voice matters, I'm capable, I'm safe to receive, I'm allowed to take up space, I can trust myself. It becomes easier to create stability and sustainability externally in your in your outside world, right? So when a woman has been, you know, has spent years being dismissed, neglected, betrayed, manipulated, or emotionally abandoned, it affects how she receives money too. And that's actually true for humanity in general. It's not just women, it's men too. The difference is when men tend to experience relationship trauma, they tend to go into addiction, whereas women tend to fall into over extension, right? We try to do everything just to prove prove our worth, and men try to avoid it, unfortunately. And so, like, both are kind of a type of avoidance, and neither one is necessarily better or worse than the other. And I know, you know, for those of you that are that are listening to this who really still are very deeply betrayed and hurt by their spouse's actions, that that can sound hurtful. And I I want to I want to know that I see you in this moment, okay? But here's the thing. One thing I have learned, and as like we're talking about this in today's episode, it is wonderful having your husband see you, and it's a need, I'm not gonna lie. But what matters more is that you see yourself because you are the one person you can't abandon. You might try, and you might do so emotionally or mentally or spiritually, like, but eventually you still have to reckon with yourself. You have to live with yourself no matter what. You don't have to live with your husband for the rest of your life, but you do have to live with yourself through eternity, and for that reason, that's why this stuff matters. Like take money aside, throw it aside, that's fine. But you abandoning yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually will you like eventually you'll have to deal with that because you are the one person you can't leave behind. You always have to deal with you, and always will through eternity. So how you see yourself determines how you receive. Absolutely. When you stop believing you're safe to have more, safe to want more, safe to become more. This is like this is why having more stops. How you perceive love is honestly how you perceive money. Mary Morrissey talks about you know how money is created on the love and above scale. And when we are focused on the betrayal, that that's not love. And this is why, you know, people that are stuck in addiction or betrayal often struggle financially as well. And when we change how we view ourselves, and we actually see our value, we acknowledge our value, we love our value, we are proud of our value, and we're proud of the way it comes out of us. This is when healing our financial story happens, not just emotionally, but financially. And women, I really need you to hear this, especially. There is a type of entrepreneurship that you were probably doing right now, okay? And that is running a home. Okay, running a home is entrepreneurship, absolutely. See, because here's and I don't care honestly if society gives that gives you that title or not, because here's the thing: this is what it takes to be an entrepreneur. You manage your sketch, you manage schedules, emotions, conflict, budgeting, food budgets. Like, I can't tell you how often, like, especially with retreats or with my clients when I do a lunch and learn, like I'm buying food, planning, caregiving, problem solving, emotional regulation, crisis management, logistics, negotiation, communication, and often other people's survival. Okay, does that sound maybe a little bit like motherhood? Because moms are managing schedules, emotions, conflict, budgets, groceries, planning, caregiving, problem solving, emotional regulation, crisis management, logistics, negotiation, communication, and often other people's survival. What you do in your home is a type of entrepreneurship, and the product you put out into the world is yourself and your children. Absolutely. You might not get paid well for it, but it still is a type of entrepreneurship. It's leadership, it's management, it's adaptability, it's entrepreneurship. Absolutely. So, especially if you've been trying to hold things together while someone else is struggling with addiction, instability, avoidance, anger, or inconsistency, women in survival are insanely resourceful. The problem is those women usually only see what they haven't done and what they can't do. And instead of recognizing like their strength and their intelligence and their resilience and their capability, they're that they literally have to use on a daily basis. They're seeing that they don't have an education, that they don't have quote unquote experience, that they don't have what it takes to create money. And maybe nobody's ever told you this for this before, but the fact that you keep going through what you've been through already proves you're capable of learning how to create money. You don't need to become necessarily something different, you just need to recognize how amazing you already are and lean into that. And you need to start seeing the value in yourself, and you need to start trusting that value and be willing to try something and make a mistake without saying, oh, well, I tried once, I guess it doesn't work. You have to be willing to keep trying and keep trying. And we're going to talk about like lots of things you can do here in just a few minutes. But let's talk about why a lot of women feel like they're stuck financially. A lot of women think that they need a lot more confidence before they can start. And but here's the thing about confidence: confidence usually comes after you start, not before it. And the reason why is because confidence is is a repetitive pattern of you feeling good about your actions. If you're scared to take action, you can't get confidence because you're not taking action. Does that make sense? Even in perfect action. Now, if you keep failing and you allow that quote unquote failure to say, oh, I guess I'm just not meant for this, that could be true. It could also mean that you need to try something different. If you just really seriously don't love what you're trying, yeah, probably you might want to try something different. But if you have a passion about this and you do love this, I would definitely tell you to keep going this because remember, money is created in the love and above categories, okay? So one of the biggest reasons women stay financially stuck is because they've been conditioned to believe that they need permission first, that they need someone to rescue them, they need more education before they can begin. And let me say, like, guys, I am all for education. Goodness, at the time of this podcast, I am going back to get my social worker degree, my master's in social work. I had a bachelor's in elementary education before that. And in the interim between graduating with my bachelor's and starting my master's, I've been doing this business for probably the last 12 to 15 years at this point, right? In some capacity or another, some type of leadership capacity. And I can tell you that I absolutely love education. I'm all for it, but you don't need it before you can start creating cash. Okay. And sometimes they also think that they need to be perfect before they can even try. And let me also say that perfection is growth. It is just a constant state of growth. It is not a one and done, we're finished with that. It's it's just okay, I've mastered this. Now here's the next level. That's literally what perfection is. So I just want you to understand that most of the successful women I know built businesses from the survival that they were in and from their own personal wisdom story. I'm one of them, guys. I built a business off of healing trauma and then also learned like, oh my goodness, like there's the this boundary concept to it as well. I delved deeper into boundaries, I dove deeper into the human psyche and like understood like how people actually start to make money and how our belief system impacts our ability to make money because I survived. I needed so I needed to get out of survival. And so I created, you know, my coaching business and and my podcast and my YouTube channel and all these places where I'm constant, right? Or somewhat constant. I know you guys are like, come on, like there's been a few weeks you've missed. You you your podcast, you you were gone for a year. Like, okay, valid point. But the part of this is I am insanely passionate about this. I'm not gonna quit because I love seeing men and women alike build their dreams, heal from deep trauma, from healing the deep trauma they finally meet their physical goals, their financial goals, their spiritual goals, their mental goals, their emotional goals, their familial goals. I freaking love it. And I get to be a part of it simply because I refused to settle with survival. And I know so many other women that are that way, they build it from necessity, motherhood, pain. They learn how to solve problems and how to connect with people from being vulnerable and raw and honest. My loves, vulnerability is not a problem. It's when you have vulnerability without ownership that it becomes a problem. When you can be vulnerable but also own it, own your side of things, own your life completely. People can't use that vulnerability against you because you're already saying, Yeah, I know, I gotta work on that. What's the big deal? You got things you gotta work on too, right? I didn't come here to be a to be uh abused. I came here to just own my stuff. Right? Vulnerability with ownership is a powerhouse, and it helps you connect to people who deserve being in your life and in your space. These women also learned how to build a business from being able to adapt. Your experience, your life experience has insane wisdom and value attached to it. Your story has insane value and wisdom attached to it. Your compassion has value, and there are people right now at this very minute who need what you already have. So I want to make this practical because someone right now are thinking, okay, but I need actual cash right now. I need to make like $500 by tomorrow. So let's talk about real possibilities, not necessarily over at night success, but I can tell you that it can happen and not fantasy, but actual real life starting points. Okay. Because here's the thing: like I actually have made $500 several times actually overnight. Before I was into coaching, I was into helping people find wellness with essential oils, right? And I'd put together a bunch of classes about these essential oils, online classes that people could buy off of me and use in their in their groups and with the pe with their people. And I was making like a thousand dollars sometimes a day just by selling those classes. The reason I stopped was because compliance came came through and I wasn't sure that these were compliant with the standards that doTERRA was or yeah, I work, I I I was a doTERRA wellness, wellness accountant or something like that. Anyway, I worked with I I worked by selling doTERRA oils and I had a really good team, but I wasn't sure that I had compliant language in the classes, and so I had to stop selling them. But there are other things too that I do do, like I I've made $500 before by doing a bake sale in my community, in my local community, I have a lot of people who love my cinnamon rolls, like they absolutely love them. And so whenever I do a sale on them, like a fundraising sale, people usually pay me ahead of time. I tell them that I will have the cinnamon rolls to them within 48 hours. I go buy the ingredients with the money I just made, and then put whatever I needed back into the family finance, make the ingredients or make the cinnamon rolls, and then I go and deliver them. And I've made $500 that way before, just by selling cinnamon rolls to my community, right? So there's something there, but here's some other things too. Like you can get into virtual assistant assisting. There are so many online businesses right now, coaches, bookkeepers, etc., that are online businesses. I know that there's a lot of therapists and social workers that have online businesses, and they need virtual assistance to help them with their marketing. If you get in and start learning how to help people and help businesses with their marketing and their virtual marketing, and help them with that assistant, like virtual assisting, that's going to make a big difference too. I know that there's quite a few women that have made five figures a month doing virtual assisting. There's social media help, proofreading, customer service, bookkeeping, scheduling, Pinterest management, email management, Canva graphics, organizing, coaching from lived experiences, that's something that I do. Transcription, writing, editing, tutoring, I have done that by the way, too. And you don't actually need to have a degree to do tutoring. I do have, like I said, my bachelor's degree in elementary education. But if you understand a concept and you were good at it and you know how to help kids with it, maybe reading, writing, arithmetic, whatever it is, like you actually can create a five-figure business off of tutoring. I've done that before. I've made 5,500, I think was the highest I ever did a month from a tutoring business, and that was only part-time. There's meal planning, account support. Maybe you're into fitness. You could do, you know, online consultations with people and help them with their fitness, right? You don't have to know everything to begin. You just need to know how to help solve a problem or get somebody a result that they're looking for. And honestly, women who've lived through difficult relationships are often incredible at reading people, adapting, organizing chaos, emotionally supporting others. Your nervous system actually becomes adapted to humanity. And when you become adapt, that that's a gift actually that trauma will give you. When you become adapted to humanity and you're able to read people because of that heightened nervous system, it's actually something you can do to understand basic needs, wants, and desires, and then like use your lived experience and your wisdom to meet it. Okay. Here's some other things you can do. You can sell things like journals, planners, devotionals, templates, budget tractors, printable checklists, kids' activities, chore charts, ebooks, recovery support resources, affirmation cards, scripture study guides, and you can create and sell these on places like Etsy, Amazon KDB, Canva. If you're good with websites, build websites for crying out loud. But you can also create a website where you put your content up and keep the sales completely. And these don't have to be perfect, they just need to simply be helpful. Now, before you panic and think, I could never be an influencer, hear me out. Content creation is simply helping people through your voice, perspective, story, or knowledge. And that could look like TikTok videos, Facebook content, YouTubing, podcasting, blogging, sharing content, sharing encouragement, teaching what you've learned, and documenting your healing journey. And now let me tell you something too. Like when I thought about like being an influencer, and like when God told me, okay, like go teach what you know now, I was like, who be holy what do you want me to do now? Because here's the thing, like I didn't think like when I was in kindergarten and they asked me what I wanted to do, I was like, I want to be a waitress until somebody told me I would probably have to scrape gum off the bottom of tables, and then I was like, never mind, right? But here's the deal like influencing, I thought I like was scary, it was terrifying to me. But influence is actually just a natural part of human, of just being human, it's it's it's humanness. Our energy is a type of influence, our spirituality is a type of influence, right? We have the ability to do because we have a body, but we also have the influence and the ability to influence because we have a spirit. And so when we, you know, want to share our voice and and the love we have and the passions that we have for things, let me just say it's okay to be an influencer. Like you absolutely could do it if you want it, if it was if it's something that you would really like. And you can also create income through being an influencer when you have affiliate links, brand deals, courses, communities, coaching, ad revenue, digital products. Your story can literally become someone else's survival guide. And guys, like let me tell you like that's legitimately what I did. My story has become a survival guide for many women and now men who are wanting more money, better boundaries, etc., and really sinking into you know a masculine role because it really is all about boundaries and refusing to settle and being willing to go the extra mile for what it is you want and to create, get into the creation energy. That is something society needs. Okay, here's some other things too. You could do local services like child care, cleaning, pet sitting, meal prep, errands, laundry help, yard cleanup, organization, respite care, transportation help. People are really overwhelmed right now, and I guarantee there are people in your community that are feeling that overwhelm. Support is valuable, and women who create cash also know how to create comfort, care, and organization. They like don't underestimate the how valuable these skills truly are. They might not be what you essentially want to do forever, but they definitely can get you through the door with creating more cash for yourself. I I even know there's a gal in our community who is doing like a DoorDash type of service, and there's actually another one too that's kind of doing like a taxi service because those DoorDash and oh what is that you know where you where you get on the get on an app and you Uber, Uber. Those those aren't available where I live. And so people created them, right? And like I said, like if we just think for a moment outside of the box, money can be created. Some other ways you can also create more money is through Amazon affiliate links, product reviews, social media recommendations, blog posts, YouTube videos, Pinterest pins, because that like all of these companies have a marketing revenue and and a marketing budget that they're willing to pay because word of mouth is the best type of business, like like bringing business in is because people might not know the business, but they might know someone who knows the business and they trust that person, right? And so word of mouth is the best, but hands down, best way to earn more money for a company. If you're reviewing products for them and bringing more business their way, they're happy to pay you for that. You don't need a million followers, you just simply need trust, and trust is built through honesty, consistency, and authenticity. So let me tell you the biggest thing that really is honestly going to have to change, because money is there for the creation, it absolutely is. But you have to stop talking to yourself like you're powerless and that you have no good options. Women who've lived through betrayal, addiction, emotional neglect, or survival often start speaking about themselves like they're trapped instead of capable. And I say that with compassion, not with judgment, because guys, I've been I've been there, I've so been there. But and the reason why is because survival can make you forget who you are, it really can. But healing this piece of of the the trauma story, right? It often begins with seeing yourself as God sees you. You start to take a look at where you're actually capable, and you start asking yourself where you're capable, and you start taking action towards those capabilities and experimenting on your capabilities and what you can actually do. Okay. And realize that there is a way out there for you. You just have to take action. Okay. Because you don't need to have your entire future figured out right now. You just really seriously need to take one step, then another, and then another, and then eventually what your nervous system starts doing is realizing, oh, actually, I am surviving movement, I am surviving disability, I am surviving trying, I'm surviving success. And that's when you start to realize that this story that maybe you've told yourself that you have no good options wasn't true in the first place. It might be difficult. But when you take action, you can find your way. You just have to do something that might feel a little uncomfortable for you. But the only way to make it comfortable is by doing it again and again and again. And this this is the same for trauma. When we do something again and again and again, it becomes familiar. You just get to decide what's going to be familiar to you. And you need to make that the habit. So if nobody's told you this lately, you're not weak because you need money, you're not selfish because you want stability, you're not greedy because you want safety for yourself and your children, and you're not disqualified from creating income because your life has been hard. In fact, some of the most powerful women I know were built in struggle, not destroyed by it. And maybe the season is not the end of your story. Maybe it's just the beginning of it, and you finally seeing your value clearly. Not emotionally, but financially, not just emotionally, I should say, but financially too. Once you start seeing your value and recognizing that the languaging between your self-love story and your money story are one and the same. Value, worth, appreciation, depreciation, change, growth, there's so many words because it's all value language, it's value-based language. And this is why when you start living in the things you love and you start doing things because you love yourself and you love your kids and you love things and you love your life, that's when financially we start to stabilize. So if you want more help finding maybe your voice, maybe you want help, feeling safe, being visible. Maybe you want help standing out, creating cash, understanding your genius, your wisdom, or maybe you just want help with your boundaries, whatever it is to create that next step, give me a call. The link is in the description below. You will get on a call with me. These are no pressure calls, no sales calls. It's just me helping you personally, okay, with your personal growth story. If you're ready for that, click on that link, get on my schedule, and I'll see you on the other side, my loves. Bye.